


In Which Tony Stark Fixes Everything (For Once)

by canufeelthemagictonight



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable FitzSimmons (Agents of SHIELD), All the members of Team Coulson are mentioned at some point, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, As are most if not all the Avengers, Coulson has to explain himself, Everyone gets along splendidly and it's amazing, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Evil Grant Ward (mentioned), F/M, Fix-It, Friendship/Love, Gen, Happy Ending, Helen Cho is awesome and underrated, Love Confessions, Not Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2 Compliant, POV Multiple, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Science Babies, Science Bros, Science Bros meet Science Babies, Things you said when you thought I was asleep, Tony Being Tony, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony finds out Coulson's alive
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-04-14 20:41:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4579290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canufeelthemagictonight/pseuds/canufeelthemagictonight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Then he gets a good look inside and</i> omigod there's people in there.</p>
<p>After Tony stops a certain pod from falling into the ocean, the two greatest science pairs ever to science finally come together.</p>
<p>AU, obviously, though it's compliant with most of Season 1.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Throw Iron Man Into the Equation and Suddenly Things Aren't Quite So Depressing

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came popping into my head literally the second after I saw Ragtag. Somewhere in my Fitzsimmons-are-in-danger depression, I remember sobbing to my dad, "if Iron Man had been there, he could've saved them."
> 
> This led to me imagining Fitzsimmons meeting the Science Bros.
> 
> Which, of course, led to this fanfic.
> 
> So please, enjoy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which (with some help from Tony) I bypass all of the Fitzsimmons-related pain of Season 2 to get straight to the happiness. And the science. Obviously.

Despite being Iron Man, Tony does not plan on saving anybody today.

He’s flying, yes. In his brand-new Iron Man suit, yes. But it is, as Pepper and Bruce drummed into his head before he left, Only. A. Test. He is not to break out the tank missiles on any buildings he might come across during the flight ("no, Tony, not even the Westboro Baptist Church"), he is not to "rescue" Rhodey from that yawn-inducing Air Force meeting he is currently stuck in, and he is _certainly_ not to attempt to take down that entire HYDRA base without the rest of the Avengers. He is to fly around the world and _that is freakin’ it._

So here he is flying across the Pacific Ocean on the final leg of the trip and by now he’s pretty confident that his suit is working properly (and thank freakin’ goodness, because it’s currently the only suit he’s got), but oh sweet mother of French-fried donuts _is_ he hungry right now. Surely it won’t make much of a difference if he stops to get a burger. The big guy and the resident guardian angel didn’t say anything about going to Burger King, did they?

Tony’s train of thought is rudely interrupted by the appearance of a plane. A SHIELD plane, from the looks of it. He wonders vaguely what it’s doing out here—he distinctly remembers Steve telling him that SHIELD collapsed shortly after what shall charitably be referred to as The HYDRA Incident—before it drops what appears to be a giant pod out of its back hatch.

_Wait just a freakin' minute._

He _knows_ what's happening here. He heard a similar story from Steve just last week—how him and that guy Sam found a formerly SHIELD plane in the hands of HYDRA, how the Nazi flunkies panicked and tossed the incriminating evidence overboard, how Capsicle and his new best friend only _just_ managed to save said evidence from a watery grave.

And here we have history freakin' repeating itself. _Just my luck._

Cursing every Nazi known to man under his breath, Tony flies full speed towards the runaway pod. He catches it in a blur of color and sound, the wind rushing around him, his stomach rumbling in his ears. _I'm definitely getting a burger after this,_ he decides as he begins to fly the pod to solid ground, taking extra care not to let the blasted thing slip between his iron fingers.

Then he gets a good look inside and _omigod there's people in there._

Suddenly, all thoughts of Burger King fly from his mind like birds abandoning a tree that's about to be cut down. He takes a closer look and _yes,_ he can definitely make out two terrified faces on the other side of the glass. Freakin' _human beings,_ presumably sent to their deaths.

_Not while I'm around, you psycho Nazi sons of mothers._

It's one of those crazy moments when the lines begin to blur and Iron Man takes over like a freakin' autopilot. He soars across the ocean depths, all other cares forgotten, barely even registering the sound of the wind in his ears. He's running on adrenaline and perhaps a bit of heroism, determined (as always) to save these people, whoever the heck they are, or go down in flames in the process.

With one last burst of speed, he reaches the coastline and sets the pod down, taking care not to break the cargo while he's at it. Once the thing is stable, he collapses on the ground, and Tony Stark regains control of his mind.

"You can come out now," he shouts to the occupants. "You're safe."

And come out they do, inching their way into the sunlight like bewildered caterpillars from under a leaf.

There are two of them. A guy and a girl. (Tony's mind briefly jumps to conclusions before he thinks better of it.) He's got a blue plaid shirt and a matching tie and a pair of baby blues that look suspiciously like a puppy's, and she's wearing a dark-colored top and her hair in a cute-yet-professional ponytail. Both of them are clearly in their twenties, but there's something about their faces that makes Tony think _kids._

"Hey," Tony greets them, for lack of anything better to say.

The guy stares openmouthed at him, apparently still processing what just happened. The girl, though obviously equally shocked, is a bit quicker on the uptake and manages to stammer out "You're…you're Iron Man!"

Tony shrugs. "That's me." Unable to resist a sarcastic remark, he adds, "What tipped you off? The giant metal suit?"

A shaky laugh from the girl. A nervous smile from the guy.

"And you are?"

"Fitz," mutters the guy.

"Simmons," murmurs the girl.

"Fitz and Simmons." Being the genius that he is, Tony takes less than ten seconds to hit upon the obvious connection. "So…Fitzsimmons?"

Enthusiastic nodding ensues. Right away, Tony decides he's gonna like these kids.

"And what is a Fitzsimmons doing falling out of planes in the middle of the ocean?" he asks. "Didn't you little idiots hear what happened to the dude who went over Niagara Falls in a barrel?"

"We're with SHIELD," Fitz explains, reaching instinctively into his pocket before hastily drawing his hand back out. "Simmons 'n' I…we were captured, and..."

"It was Ward." Simmons's voice turns cold at the mention of the name, and Tony supposes he'd be mad too if he had the foggiest idea who she's talking about. "Grant Ward. He tried to kill us."

Fitz whimpers and puts his head in his hands, rocking back and forth in place as he mutters under his breath. Simmons moves closer to him and puts a hand on his shoulder, murmuring quiet reassurance into his ear. They stay like that for what seems like forever, and even Tony can't help but get the warm fuzzies. He wonders offhand how anybody could possibly look at these kids and think, _Ah, yes, these are the people I'm going to murder._ Whoever this Ward guy is, he clearly has no soul. 

But then, Tony manages to catch a snatch of Simmons's words, and his brain dam near explodes.

"...have to find the team…Skye, May, Coulson…tell them we're all right…"

_"Coulson?"_

He must've heard her wrong. He _must've._ Either that or she isn't talking about _his_ Coulson. Okay, _their_ Coulson, the _Avengers'_ Coulson, Phil aka "Agent" Coulson who very clearly got stabbed through the heart by a certain divine maniac. _Dude's been dead for ages. Since New York. No freakin' way…_

"Our team leader," Simmons explains. "Phil Coulson. I'm guessing—"

"—you've probably heard of him," finishes Fitz.

"He's dead," Tony says.

"Oh." Fitz stares sheepishly at the grass. "Well, uh, y'see—"

Simmons is, once again, amazingly quick on the uptake. "He was revived. Fury's orders. They used the T.A.H.I.T.I. program—"

"—gave him a dose of GH.325—"

"—and he's been kicking ever since."

Tony has maybe three seconds to marvel at Fitzsimmons's uncanny ability to finish each other's sentences before the realization of what they're saying figuratively socks him in the jaw.

_Holy schmoke—Coulson's alive?!?_

He remembers the SHIELD agent's death like it was yesterday—the lifeless body slumped against the wall, Steve Rogers's grief-stricken face, Maria Hill's very dramatic show of emotion, those dam Captain America cards stained with their owner's blood, the team's subsequent resolution to fight on in honor of their fallen friend. And now these baby agents are telling him that the whole thing was a freakin' _sham?_ That Fury just took the opportunity to emotionally manipulate six innocent Avengers, only to then conveniently bring Coulson back using some creepy program and a few drugs? And then proceed to not tell the people who love him and miss him that oh, by the way, he's actually alive? And Coulson was for some reason totally okay with keeping Tony and the other Avengers in the dark?

The more Tony thinks about it, the angrier he gets. Which means it's probably time to stop thinking about it.

For now.

He turns his attention back to Fitzsimmons and notices, for the first time, the injuries their tumble so courteously gave them—the bruises up and down his arm, the small gash on her forehead. "Yeesh," Tony can't help but comment, before hastily adding, "Some battle scars you got there."

"It's nothing, really," says Simmons with a brush-it-off-little laugh. "We're fine. Honest."

"We'll deal with it later," adds Fitz. "We gotta find the others."

(Neither one, Tony observes, has truly noticed their injuries yet.)

Tony makes a split-second executive I-am-Iron-Man decision. "Nope."

Simmons blinks. Fitz opens his mouth to protest.

"You two," continues Tony, "are not going _anywhere_ till somebody sees to those bumps and bruises. I mean, _seriously."_ He gestures to Fitz's bruises and Simmons's gash. _"Look_ at yourselves."

Fitz attempts to examine his arm and immediately winces in pain. "We've seen worse," he stubbornly insists, his teeth clenched, his arm hanging limply at his side.

But Simmons, who appears to have only just now noticed the state of Fitz's arm, gasps and puts a hand over her mouth. She then regains her composure and remarks, her voice shaking, "He's right, Fitz. We need to see a doctor. Immediately." Her eyes seem to be trying their hardest to look everywhere that is not Fitz's arm. "Preferably an orthopedist, to make sure you haven't broken that."

Fitz is about to argue, but then he, too, notices his counterpart's injury. "Omigod," he whispers, his eyes growing wide. "Jemma…your _forehead…"_

"It's okay," she replies in reassuring tones, a tear falling down her cheek. "I'm okay. You're okay." She takes a deep breath and hugs her friend so tightly it's a miracle she doesn't squeeze him to death. "We're okay."

"I'm still here," Tony reminds them.

They break apart, identical blushes dancing across their cheeks. "Sorry," says Fitz sheepishly, though he certainly doesn't _look_ sorry. Neither, for that matter, does Simmons, whose hand seems superglued to Fitz's shoulder. _I guess those early conclusions weren't so far off the mark after all…_

"So." Tony clears his throat. "Tell you what. How would you guys like to come hang at my place? I've got a friend, Dr. Helen Cho—she's got magic machines and everything, she'll fix you right up." He smiles. "And I suppose you can maybe even meet my Science Bro while you're at it. Bruce wouldn't mind, I'm sure."

"Bruce?" Fitzsimmons, whose mouths had already dropped open at the mention of Helen Cho, now look as though their eyes are about to pop out of their sockets. Simmons, especially, seems overwhelmed, and her tone of voice reminds Tony of a kid in a candy store for the first time—a kid who's positive she's dreaming. "As in…Bruce _Banner?"_

Tony nods like a bobblehead. "Yeah, he's my best friend." Then, almost as an afterthought, "My _second_ -best friend, that is. Rhodey's number one." He realizes he's rambling and gets back on track. "Bruce and I were actually in the middle of an experiment when I left—you guys into science?"

At the word "science" the kids light up like a pair of tiny Christmas trees.

Tony flashes them his trademark Tony Stark Smirk. "Then you're gonna _love_ this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Rick voice* "Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
> 
> Next chapter: Tony shows off the tower, Helen works her magic, Bruce and Pepper say hi, and Fitzsimmons are positive they've died and gone to heaven.


	2. Fitzsimmons Reach Nirvana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this paradise, or just the R & D lab? Jemma and Fitz honestly aren't sure.
> 
> Also, the Science Bros and the Science Babies finally meet, and Helen Cho is not having any of Tony's nonsense today, thanks.

To call Fitz "starstruck" is the understatement of the millennium.

Never in a million years has he ever even _dreamed_ of getting inside Avengers Tower, let alone meeting any of its superpowered inhabitants. But then he and Jemma took a fall and got themselves rescued by _Tony freakin' Stark,_ and now here they are on the thirty-second floor of the most famous building in New York City besides the Empire State Building.

Not bad for a pair of nobody scientists who aren't even cleared for combat.

Helen Cho— _the_ Helen Cho—is currently at work on his arm, while Jemma (whose injuries have already been treated) sits next to her, talking so fast he's worried her jaw is going to fall off. "DoctorChoI'mahugefanofyourworkIespeciallyenjoyedyourarticleinPopularScienceregardingtheCradleit'san amazinginventionandIcan'tbelieveI'mactuallytalkingtoyou—"

Dr. Cho is taking the time-honored approach of smiling and nodding. Honestly, Fitz isn't even sure she's listening anymore.

Not that it matters, because he isn't really listening either. He's trying, honest to God he's trying, but he keeps getting distracted by little things—like the flicker of awe in Jemma's eyes, or the way her hands flail around like she's on a sugar rush, or the little strand of hair that has somehow escaped her ponytail, or the way her voice squeaks ever so slightly at the word _believe,_ or—

"Fitz."

Fitz yanks his mind away from dangerous territory and whirls around to face Dr. Cho, blushing like an overripe radish. "Yeah?"

"Your arm isn't broken, thankfully." She nods in the direction of the arm in question, which is now wrapped in a giant elastic bandage that makes it look like something from ancient Egypt. "It is, however, badly sprained, so you should avoid using it for a while."

"Right," says Fitz, still shivering from all the ice she applied. "Good thing I'm right-handed, then."

Jemma stops talking long enough to flash him that reassuring smile he loves so much, and _it's okay, she's okay, thank God we're both okay_ spins around his mind like an overplayed song on the radio. Occasionally a stray thought of Ward's betrayal or how close they came to death tugs at his subconscious, but he pushes the reminder away and keeps his eyes glued to Jemma Simmons's smile. They're alive. The pain can wait. Not for long, but it can wait.

"If you two are going to start hugging again," says Dr. Cho nonchalantly, _"do_ be careful. Fitz's arm—"

"Yes, of course," they reply in unison.

And then, Tony Stark bursts back into the room, a supernova of excited energy, with a strawberry-blonde woman right on his heels. "Are you ready, kids?" he shouts at the top of his voice.

"Whatever you do," mutters the woman as she facepalms, "do _not_ say 'Aye, aye, Captain.'"

"Mr. Stark has been on a SpongeBob kick lately," Dr. Cho explains. "He marathoned every episode ever made last weekend and has been occasionally driving the rest of us crazy ever since."

"Occasionally?" asks Tony innocently.

Fitz snorts with laughter. Even Jemma can't help but giggle.

"Tony," snaps the strawberry-blonde, "you and I both know it's gone far beyond _occasionally."_

"Tell me about it." A man enters the room, his purple collar peeking out from beneath his white lab coat, and Fitz's heart nearly stops. _Omigosh, I know who this is, I've seen his picture in enough scientific journals, it's_ him, _it's—_

"Bruce Banner," says Tony by way of introduction.

The sheer celebrity-induced euphoria of it all is enough to shut down Fitz's mighty brain for several seconds. The next thing he knows, he's out of his chair, pumping Bruce's arm so hard it's in danger of breaking. Jemma's on Bruce's other side, once again waving her arms around, and together they pelt their idol with exclamations.

"Dr. Banner, we've heard so much about you, it's an honor—"

"—your work on anti-electron collisions, _amazing,_ truly amazing—"

"—you've probably never heard of us, but Fitz and I, we're your _biggest_ fans—"

"—unparalleled, truly, top of the field, and I think I'm hyperventilating—"

"—you've been an _enormous_ inspiration to scientists everywhere—"

"—Ashleigh Summers told us some awful things, but we never believed them, did we, Jem?—"

"Uh," says Bruce.

Tony waits for the idol worship to subside before making introductions. "So. Yeah. This is Bruce. Try not to annoy him, he can throw a pretty mean temper tantrum."

_"Tony."_

"Right. Sorry, big guy. And this is Virginia Potts, you can call her Pepper, I'm the only one who gets to call her _honey schnookums sweetie pie_ —"

Pepper very pointedly steps on his toes, which causes one of the most famous superheroes in the world to shriek like a little girl. Fitzsimmons take one look at each other and dissolve into giggles as Tony glares daggers in their direction.

Bruce ignores this and smiles kindly at Fitzsimmons. "And you are?"

Fitz is seconds away from responding before Tony steals his thunder. "Oh, these?" He smirks. "Fitzsimmons. She's Fitz, he's Simmons."

"No, _I'm_ Simmons," Jemma protests. _"He's_ Fitz."

Tony brushes her off with a casual "Whatever," but he's grinning like a maniac as he does it. Fitz has a funny feeling that the name switcheroo is revenge for their earlier giggles, but since it's _Tony freakin' Stark_ and they're in freakin' _Avengers Tower,_ he literally couldn't care less. "Let's skip the icebreaker games, we've got science to do."

At the word "science" Fitz's geeky heart skips several more beats, and he can tell by the expression on Jemma's face that the same thing is happening to her. Being rescued by Tony Stark and meeting Bruce Banner is enough to send him into a sciencegasm, but actually doing _science_ with two of his idols? That's a whole 'nother _level_ of wildest dreams come true.

"And you can come too if you want, Helen," says Bruce, though Fitz can barely hear him due to the Hallelujah Chorus playing on repeat throughout his brain.

"Oh _no,_ thank you," says Dr. Cho, a half-grimace-half-smile on her face. "You know I've never been into _your_ kind of science. Besides, I have a medical paper to finish and really cannot afford to waste any more time." She starts for the exit, running a hand through her dark hair as she walks. _"Do_ try not to blow up the continent while I'm gone."

"Of course," Bruce replies.

"I can't make any promi—"

_"Tony."_

"Right. Okay. Got it. No explosions." Tony slumps his shoulders and scowls. _"Dangit."_

 

Avengers Tower kind of reminds Jemma of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory—only, of course, without the chocolate, the squirrels, or the chance of getting turned into a gigantic blueberry. (Thank God.) There has to be at least two hundred floors, each of them no doubt containing thousands of exciting things. She's spotted a home theater, the world's largest assortment of computers, and a training room reserved for none other than Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton themselves, all just on the walk to the elevator.

And, of course, they haven't even _gotten_ to the R  & D lab yet. God only knows what wonders they'll discover in _there._

"Honestly, it's times like these when I wish I had a cooler elevator," Tony complains as they step inside the perfectly normal-looking machine. "Like the one from Willy Wonka. You remember the one from Willy Wonka?"

Both halves of Fitzsimmons pale, and for good reason: they remember Willy Wonka (and the ensuing blueberry-related nightmares) all too well.

"Ye-e-es..." says Jemma cautiously.

"Tony," says Bruce, "I don't think—"

"I'm gonna do it." There's a wicked glint in Tony's eyes that makes Jemma slightly nervous. "I'm gonna redesign this elevator, it's gonna go to the freakin' _moon_ and back before I'm done with it—"

When Pepper speaks, she sounds affectionatley bored; it's as if it's something she's spent her whole life repeating over and over, with varying degrees of success. "Tony, no."

Tony slumps against the elevator wall, pretending to be dejected. "But..."

Jemma takes the opportunity to glance in Fitz's direction. His blue eyes are squeezed shut, his hands hang loose at his sides, he's wearing a smile similar to one you might see on the face of someone who's high, and he's breathing faster and harder than usual. She can't really blame him for his obvious exhilaration; after all, this _is_ Avengers Tower, and they _did_ just meet Tony Stark, Helen Cho, and Bruce Banner. She's having a hard time holding back excitement herself.

A particularly annoying part of her still itches to continue her fangirling, but she decides against it. After all, the last thing she wants is for the scientists she's looked up to for so long to get sick of her.

"Five more floors," Pepper informs the group.

A squee dies trying to come out of Jemma's mouth, and what does come out sounds more like a dying pigeon than anything else. At the same time, Fitz starts rocking back and forth in an obvious effort to keep his own squees to himself.

The slightest of smiles darts across Pepper's face as she glances at the pair of them. "It's like Bruce all over again," she deadpans.

"Hey, no fair," Bruce complains. "I wasn't _that_ bad."

To which both Tony and Pepper reply, like a smirking Greek chorus, "Yes, you were."

And in no time at all, the elevator has stopped and Tony's cheerfully telling them that "this is it, folks, welcome to Candyland." Jemma instinctively inches closer to Fitz, grabbing his sweaty hand and locking her fingers with his. Her heart is beating so fast it sounds like it's trying to compete for the gold medal in the Olympics.

_Ding._

The elevator opens.

The R & D wing is revealed.

And one thought passes through the mind of Jemma Simmons: _Is this heaven?_

 

 _Well, it sure as heck ain't heaven,_ thinks Tony, _but try telling that to the science kids._

Simmons stands like a deer in headlights, her brown eyes wide, her tiny pink mouth in a round O. Fitz, who's finally opened his own eyes, looks about ready to faint from the sheer brilliance.

"Um...hello?" Tony waves a hand in front of first Simmons, then Fitz. Neither of them so much as blinks. "Are you okay?" _Oh, please God, don't tell me they've gone comatose, I didn't bust my butt saving these idiots just to have them die of science overexposure—_

Fortunately, Fitzsimmons snap out of their stupor after two incredibly scary minutes. Unfortunately, they do it by shrieking at first the lab, then each other, and then the lab again. (Tony can't help but wonder why Fitz's shriek is higher-pitched than Simmons's.) Then, after nearly tripping over themselves entering the place, they squeak at each other like tiny mice while ogling the equipment.

"See?" says Bruce to Pepper. "At least I didn't _shriek."_

Pepper rolls her eyes at him. "You were kissing the floor, shut up."

Bruce shuts up.

"Welcome," Tony announces as he, Bruce, and Pepper get off the elevator, "to the R & D wing of Avengers Tower. Or, as it is also known, the Astonishing Science Palace of Awesome."

"You're the only one who calls it that," Bruce mutters.

"Stuff it, Banner, you're killing the mood. Anyway, this lovely junk is just the teaser, there's nine more floors just like it upstairs, but I don't have time for the VIP tour, there's still a few improvements Bruce and I have to make on the—"

It's then he realizes that neither Fitz nor Simmons is listening; they're still too busy oohing and aahing over various pieces of technology.

"Is that—is that a particle accelerator? _Multiple_ particle accelerators?"

"Jemma, Jemma, _omigosh,_ Jemma, look, it's the Iron Legion blueprints!"

"These must be the batons he's designing for Black Widow—do you think she's actually _touched_ these?"

"Well, would you look at that," mutters Tony, a fake pout spreading across his slightly-sweaty face. "They've completely forgotten we're here."

Pepper holds up her finger and thumb. "This is the world's smallest violin."

Tony laughs and pulls her towards him, grinning in spite of himself. To be honest, this is the first time since Bruce (and Helen, sort of, though she's much more laid-back about it) that he's ever met anyone _this_ into science. Heck, Fitzsimmons could totally be the unholy long-lost twin children of the Science Bros themselves.

Unless, of course, they _are_ a couple. He's going to have to look into that.

For now, he's just going to stand here, watch them flail around like he's a proud father watching his babies walk for the first time, and wait for the _real_ science mayhem to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Let the science begin! Also, Pepper is once again forced to deal with her boyfriend's ridiculousness, and one of Fitz's biggest dreams just might come true after all.


	3. The Fine, Fine Line Between Genius and Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is much bantering back and forth between all parties, Pepper has her moment of reflection, Tony gets attached, and then, finally, the science.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took such a long time to update...life got in the way. But I'm here now, so enjoy!

About ten minutes into the Fitzsimmons Science Squealfest (co-starring Tony, Pepper, and Bruce as the Slightly Bemused Avengers Tower Veterans), Dum-E whirs to life and decides now would be a good time to engage in violence.

"OW!"

Tony looks up just in time to see Fitz drop the prototype he's holding and jump at least ten feet into the air, making a grab for his shoulder on the way down. Simmons rips her attention away from Bruce's data samples and comes to her partner's aid with...a wrench?

"Stop that," she tells Dum-E, and her second-rate attempt to sound intimidating prompts a stray giggle from Tony before Pepper's infamous Dagger Glare shuts him down. "He's a scientist, not a stuffed toy in a vending machine. Keep your claws down or I'll accidentally-on-purpose spill some hydrochloric acid on you."

Tone quality aside, Tony has to admit that _was_ a pretty neat threat. Dum-E seems to think so too, as he immediately scoots away from the science twins while still managing to side-eye Fitz in a _this isn't over_ kind of way. Which is also impressive, seeing as Tony didn't even know a robot _could_ side-eye someone, but hey, you learn something new every day.

"It doesn't like me," mutters Fitz. "Why doesn't it like me?"

Tony shrugs. "Maybe your face brings up bad memories."

"Don't be ridiculous," snaps Simmons, clearly still peeved at the robot. "It only just _met_ him, literally, he's done nothing to it, and since when can a robot hate someone anyway?"

"You'd be surprised." Pepper responds, wincing at Fitz in sympathy.

Tony rolls his eyes, remembering all too well what she's on about. "Pepper, I _told_ you I was sorry about the PIPES incident—"

"That thing tried to _kill_ us, Tony. If Rhodey hadn't shown up when he did—"

"Omigod, woman, it was _ten freakin' years ago!_ Give me a break!"

"Oh, I did," she assures him, deploying that sneaky little grin she knows dam well drives him wild. "I'm _only saying_ that perhaps you should keep an eye on Dum-E from now on, make sure he doesn't go rogue—"

Seconds before Tony can come back with the perfect half-sarcastic-half-flirtatious retort, Bruce effectively shuts down the conversation with "Stop it, you two, you're scaring the kid."

And he's right—Fitz has turned fifty shades of pale over the past two minutes. Simmons, meanwhile, has yet to put down her wrench; if anything, she's only clutching it tighter, a scowl stamped onto her face. And Dum-E appears to be giving off the "lying-in-wait" vibe, which clearly isn't helping Fitz's nerves.

Figuring it's his responsibility to prevent his creation from committing murder, Tony turns to face Dum-E. "You heard the lady." He forms a fist. "Stay back or she'll bring out the HCl and I'll post your destruction on YouTube."

Dum-E makes a noise that could be interpreted as a squeak and immediately hides under the nearest table.

Snickers ensue.

"Now that I've traumatized my robot for life," says Tony with an exaggerated shrug, "might I ask what _kind_ of science you kids get up to?"

Fitz's Dum-E-induced fright is instantly replaced by the confidence of a man who's reentered familiar territory. "Um, quite a bit, actually." He gestures to Simmons, who has put down her wrench and returned her attention to Bruce's data samples. "Jemma's biochem, and, I'm, ah, engineering. We've done a lot of designing, helped Coulson once or twice with the—"

Tony scowls, his code-orange levels of anger with SHIELD and Coulson returning with a vengeance. "Leave Agent out of this, Fitzter, he's still dead as far as I'm concerned." He ignores the scandalized expression on Simmons's face and mutters several choice words about the recently resurrected agent under his breath.

Bruce and Pepper, both of whom have already been briefed on the "The Expletive Deleted's Not Dead" situation, say nothing in Coulson's defense. Indeed, the former is currently doing some sort of breathing exercise in an obvious attempt to curb his own frustration.

A flash of understanding crosses Fitz's face, and he continues. "The Gamma Power Reserve." He points to Bruce. "Dr. Banner's, ah, invention. We used that one time. Very effective."

"Oh, Fitz, stop being modest," says Simmons, playfully whacking his arm. "You stopped Daniels _literally_ dead in his tracks with that thing."

"It wasn't all me, y'know," Fitz protests. "Coulson and Trip—"

But his face is redder than a cherry tomato, and she's beaming up at him with a that's-my-Fitz kind of pride, and Tony's they're-a-couple theory is looking more and more likely every passing second.

"And you were there too, of course," says Simmons to Bruce. "In spirit. Since it was your invention, and all."

It's Bruce's turn to blush. "I'm honored."

"Hey, what about me?" Tony pipes up. He's well aware the Gamma Reserve is Bruce's thing and Bruce's thing only, but he's way too eager to get back into the conversation to care. Plus, let's face it, if Fitzsimmons are gonna hang around here, they might as well get used to the Tony Show. "We're Science Bros, it was a joint effort, I—"

"Tony," says Bruce with a sigh and a facepalm, "the day I developed the Gamma Reserve, you were in the next room whining about how you couldn't do squat because, and I quote, 'those dam tacos Rhodey butchered gave me diarrhea.'"

Pepper laughs so hard she doubles over, Fitzsimmons's mouths twitch into matching smiles, and Tony scowls at the floor. He supposes he was asking for that, trying to butt in and all, but still... "Jerk move, Banner. Jerk move."

"And there's more where that one came from," is Bruce's cryptic reply.

Tony shakes his head and turns back to Fitzsimmons. "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the kinda-sorta-unfortunate result of prolonged exposure to yours truly." He grins. "Seriously, you should've seen him before he met me. I think I eroded his sanity."

"Oooh," chirps Simmons, her voice dripping with a playful sort of sarcasm. "In that case, I think we'd best be going, Fitz. I'd hate to see our IQs begin to fall."

"No, don't go!" The words burst frantically from Tony's mouth two seconds before he realizes she was only joking. He quickly covers up his accidental show of emotion _(how the heck did I get attached to these two so quickly, damit?!?)_ with a "I mean, you haven't even seen true science in action yet..." Then, in his best _The Shining_ impression, "Come play with us, Fitzsimmons. _Forever and ever and ever."_

"You stop that," is what Fitz has to say about Tony's venture into the horror genre. "You're not even scary."

Tony shrugs. "That's because I'm not wearing the suit."

"Your suit isn't scary, either," says an obviously unimpressed Simmons. 

Fitz snorts in apparent agreement.

"That's because you haven't seen the one I'm designing for Halloween," Tony brags. "It's gonna have skeletons, bulit-in flashing lights, scary sound effects, maybe a bit of blood here and there—"

And now it's Pepper's turn to sigh. "Halloween isn't for another five months."

"What's the matter, Pep?" asks Tony with yet another shrug. "Never heard of 'advance preparation?'"

"He's right," Bruce points out, looking almost-but-not-quite guilty as he says it. "A Halloween costume slash Iron Man suit that complicated would require weeks if not months of advance preparation, especially when you consider all the—"

"—intricate machinery involved," says Fitz in a rush of excitement, finishing Bruce's sentence before anyone has a chance to even blink.

Tony, being Tony, is not going to let this sentence takeover go undetected. "Y'know, I don't remember Bruce's exact IQ, but I'm pretty sure the dude's smart enough to finish his own—"

"—sentences." This time, it's Simmons's turn to steal the words from his mouth. "Old habits. Sorry."

"No, it's fine," says Bruce, smiling at the pair of them with that shy little grin Tony's always trying to tease out of him. "I've seen worse."

Tony frowns. "If you're referring to the hot dog incident, that was _one time..."_

Bruce facepalms. Again.

 

As she watches her boyfriend and her boyfriend's (second)best friend interact with the two newest members of their science crew, the normally businesslike Pepper Potts can't help but smile.

She saw this coming, of course—the minute Tony told her about the shiny new Fitzsimmons he'd rescued from a watery grave, she took one look at his soot-stained face and big-eyed expression and immediatley heard the clashing chimes of deja vu. It was Bruce Banner all over again, right down to the 'can we keep them' expression on his face.

(He's always been quick with the emotional draw, falling deep into his unique brand of friendship minutes after crossing the inital 'you, yeah you, I like you' event horizon. If people were elements, Tony would be carbon, making connections without even thinking twice.)

To be honest, Pepper wasn't expecting Tony's new friends to be quite this young. She expected middle-aged, mild-mannered, soft-spoken...Bruce-types, really. Not this matching set of overenthusiastic baby-faced geniuses standing before her.

But her expectations have since been pleasantly shattered, and now here they all are—Tony 'n' Bruce and Fitz 'n' Simmons—chattering about science like a bunch of hyperactive little monkeys.

And speaking of monkeys...

"—and I told Jemma that if we just had a _monkey,_ he could—"

 _"Fitz!"_ Simmons throws her hands up in the air while wearing the what-am-I-going-to-do-with-this-idiot expression that Pepper herself knows all too well.

 _Count yourself lucky,_ she mentally advises the younger woman. _At least_ your _boyfriend has (most likely) never tried to build a Jaeger from scratch...or peed in his suit at his own birthday party...or bought you the world's largest bunny plush..._

"Well, who says you can't?" Tony claps Fitz on the shoulder, then barks, "JARVIS! Contact the nearest zoo and ask 'em how much a capuchin costs!"

_...or randomly bought a monkey for a guy he just met._

Pepper excuses herself with the aforementioned smile permanently plastered on her face. She'll save the Tony-no lecture for later.

 

Twenty minutes have passed since Pepper's departure, and the others have since turned from talking about science to...well...science.

Roller skate science, to be exact.

"These babies will go at the speed of _sound_ once we squeeze the jets in there," Tony explains as Jemma and Fitz squint at the red-and-black skates on the table before them. "I'm thinking 50 miles per hour, maybe even 60 if we're lucky..."

Jemma frowns, her built-in science-sense tingling at the forefront of her mind. "You _do_ realize that the speed of sound is approximately 340.29 miles per second, and if you tried to go that fast you'd probably end up with a—"

"It's a _metaphor,_ Simmons!"

"What Tony is trying to say," says Bruce, "is that we've been working on these for about two months with...shall we say... _varying_ success." He grimaces, and Jemma can't help but wonder what qualifies as "varying."

"And we're _this close,"_ adds Tony, grabbing a pair of tiny jets from the table and handing one to Fitz. "Just a few kinks to work out."

Fitz examines the jet, his "concentration face" on full display, while Jemma takes the opportunity to ask "What sort of kinks, exactly?"

"Well," says Bruce, "we're trying to make them powerful enough to enable an entire infantry to move down the highway at top speed—"

"—but not so powerful that they blow _up_ aforementioned infantry," finishes Tony. Then, with a sly wink in Fitzsimmons's direction. "See, you two don't have a monopoly on the 'finishing others' sentences' industry."

Jemma smiles in spite of herself. _Well played, Mr. Stark. Well played._

"I don't know," Fitz mutters, his attention still firmly fixed on the jet in his palm. "Sounds a bit...over-the-top."

"And impractical," Jemma agrees. "I mean, under what circumstances would it occur to anyone to use _jet-powered roller skates?"_ She shakes her head. "It doesn't make sense."

Tony smirks. "Exactly. You guys in?"

Jemma instinctively glances at Fitz. He shrugs. She chuckles.

"Why not?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed the whole "Dum-E's not a Fitz fan" bit from this story: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1054377. If you want more Science Bros/Science Babies action and have gotten sick of mine, read it. It rocks.
> 
> If you ARE still into this, stick around for chapter four, where Roller Skate Science happens, Phil Coulson must finally face the music and own up to the whole not-being-dead thing, and I come to terms with the fact that I can't seem to write a fic involving Tony without Rhodey getting tangled up in it somehow. In this case, a phone call.


End file.
